


Boyfriends Are Better Than Best Friends

by tonysleatherjacket



Series: Zalex Prompts [8]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M, finally wrote another one shot y'all are welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 12:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysleatherjacket/pseuds/tonysleatherjacket
Summary: Alex finds out about Jessica and Justin and who better to comfort him than Zach?





	Boyfriends Are Better Than Best Friends

**Author's Note:**

> You can submit zalex one-shot prompts for me to write in the comments or on my tumblr @tonysleatherjacket

Alex is probably busy. That’s the logical answer to why he isn’t responding to my texts or calls. He’s probably doing homework or taking a nap. I know that I shouldn’t worry. But me, being me, I worry.

I have the events of that day burned forever in my head; like a painful, searing brand. When Alex’s dad told me what had happened; what Alex had done, or tried to do, I could feel my stomach plummet to the ground. I wished the rest of my body had followed.

The first time I came to see him in the hospital was a nightmare. The moment I stepped foot in the room I almost fell to my knees. I kept picturing the night of the accident over and over again. Waking up in that bed, the smell of hospital instantly making me nauseous. I didn’t understand what had happened. I kept asking my mom were dad was, but she couldn’t stop crying.

I just felt so much guilt, it was overwhelming. With my father, I had wished over and over again that it had been me instead of him. Or that I could have done something to prevent the crash. If only I had been driving or I hadn’t insisted we go see that _stupid_ game. With Alex, I regretted not being a better friend. We had the kind of friendship where we all acted like we were hot shit, the coolest kids in the school, and therefore acted like nothing mattered. Nothing could hurt us. A bunch of robotic fucking assholes.

Each time Alex doesn't call me back or answer my messages quickly enough, I feel like I did that day over and over again. It terrifies me. I texted him last night, called him this morning, and sent another text in the afternoon. The sun has started to set now. I've tried to keep my mind occupied with other things. Playing board games with May, helping my mom cook dinner. I even resulted to actually doing my homework on a Saturday instead of waiting until Sunday night to do a mountain of work. But how could I focus on balancing chemical equations or reading about the reconstruction era when all I could think about was Alex? I've believed him every time he's told he'll never hurt himself again, but still, I wonder if he will. I'm worried I'll never stop being afraid of that happening. I have those same nightmares sometimes Clay used to get. But instead of seeing Hannah with her wrists slit, I see Alex with a bullet in his head. I wake up every time on the verge of screaming.

So I wait until it's been exactly twenty-four hours until I grab my keys and tell my mother I have plans with Alex. When I pull up to his house, only his father's cop car is in the driveway. Mrs. Standall must have the night shift at the hospital. His father answers the door and his face instantly brightens like it always does when he sees me. One time Alex's parents said I must've been his guardian angel. I couldn't decide whether it was sweet or just fucking weird. 

"Zach! It's so good to see you again. How've you been, bud?"

"Great, Mr. Standall. Looking forward to the summer."

"Yeah, you've got what? About a month left of junior year?"

He steps aside and opens the door farther for me to come in. You know whenever you go to someone else's house and it just has a smell to it that's foreign to you? Like dog or cigarettes or freshly brewed coffee. I can't remember what Alex's house smells like. It just smells like home. 

"Three weeks."

"Alex's up in his room. He didn't mention you were coming over."

"He didn't invite me, but I really needed to talk to him about something. I hope that's alright."

"Of course it is, kid. Let me know if you end up wanting to spend the night. We've also got leftovers in fridge you can help yourself to."

"Thanks, Mr. Standall."

I take the stairs two  at a time and when I open Alex's door (his parents had finally agreed to letting him leave it completely shut) he's laying on his bed, arms crossed and headphones in. His eyes immediately find mine.

"What are you doing here?" He pulls his headphones off and wraps them around his neck. He doesn't seem angry to see me, but he also doesn't seem particularly happy either. 

"You never called or texted me back." I shut the door behind me. "You can't just do that to me."

"I _know_." He groans. "I know, I'm sorry." He sits up to make room for me to sit next to him on the bed. 

"You could've just said no to seeing a movie with me this weekend." I tease and give him a big smile. I can tell there's something going on with him and I want to lighten the mood. His teenage angst comes off in waves. 

"I would've, and I would've texted you back, it's just..." He trails off. 

"What? Did something happen with Jess last night?" I knew they'd gone to Monet's for one of their dates. 

He winces at the mention of her name. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Meaning..." I trail off, hoping he'll open up and tell me what happened. It must've been something serious for him to ignore me. 

"Meaning I'm the hugest fucking idiot who just found out she cheated on me with Justin the night of the dance. The night we officially got back together."

"Wait, _what?_ " I ask in disbelief. I'm going to kill her. No, I'm going to kill _Justin_. 

"The worst part is I had no idea. I thought things were going to so great between us. She said she's been out of her mind with guilt. I don't know if that's supposed to make me feel better or not."

"Did you break up with her?"

"Actually, she kind of broke up with me. Said how she didn't deserve me and shit. That I was better off without her."

"Jesus, are you okay?"

"I don't know." He runs a hand through his dark hair and shifts against the pillows behind him. "I think a part of me knew it would never really be the same if we got back together anyway. Especially after all the shit we've been through. Still, I thought things were pretty good. I definitely wasn't expecting this, though."

"I'm so sorry, Alex." I'm not sure whether I should hug him or not, so I settle for just patting his hand. Instead of pulling it away, I leave it resting over his. My hands are so big compared to his, my one hand completely covers his. 

"I mean, I love Justin, and he's grown up a lot. But she seriously cheated on me with _Justin_? After letting Bryce do what he did and then lying to her? She couldn't feel safe enough with me but she did with _him_?"

I rub my thumb in comforting circles around the top of his hand. "One, Justin was still using so he was probably fucking high at the time. Two, they have all that history together. They both really loved each other. Sure, their whole situation was extremely toxic, but I guess they just wanted one more night together. For closure, I guess."

Alex doesn't meet my eyes. "I know this is probably stupid, but I can't help but feel so unwanted. Jess was my first real girlfriend."

"Not only is that _not_ stupid, Alex, but it's also not true at all. You aren't unwanted. Jess wasn't ready to be in a relationship again after what happened to her. She's clearly still working through some shit. The best thing you can do for her now is be her friend. I'm not saying it's okay that she cheated on you, but I wouldn't hold too big a grudge against her."

"Jess was like, the best thing that happened to me. I doubt I'll ever find someone as amazing as her."

Every time he talks so highly about Jessica, I can feel my throat tighten. I just can't help but feel jealous of her, especially when they got back together. I think it was around that time I started to realize my feelings for Alex were growing into something far bigger than just friendly. 

"I really doubt that, Alex."

"Why? Honestly who's ever gonna like me now? With my scars, my cane, my hand, and all the other problems that come with being completely fucked up."

"Alex, you aren't fucked up, okay? You've been through something traumatic as hell and managed to come back stronger than ever. You're recovering. You're getting better each and every day, I can tell. You're funny as shit and you can play the guitar. And you can beat my _ass_ every single time in Mario Kart."

"It's totally because you let me win, though."

"Bullshit."

His smile is so wide, it's infectious. I notice my hand is still touching his. If Alex thinks it's weird, he doesn't comment on it. 

"You know, sometimes I think best friends are better than girlfriends." His tone and expression seem strangely flirty, and I can't help but feel heat creeping onto my cheeks at his words. 

"And why's that?" I question him. 

"Even when I was dating Jess, I still liked hanging out with you more. Even if it was just sitting in a dark bedroom playing video games or listening to music. If there's such a thing as feeling at home with a person, I definitely feel that way about you."

I think my heart might burst. Right here, right now. All over the bed, and walls, and everything. 

"You know..." my heart is pounding, but I'm determined not to lose my nerve. There's an opening and I'm afraid if I don't take it now I never will. "sometimes I think _boyfriends_ are even better than best friends."

"Huh?" He barely has time to question me before I'm leaning a few inches forward to kiss him. 

I pull away quickly to gauge his reaction. His eyes flutter open and I'm mesmerized by his long lashes and bright, bright blue eyes. He breaks into another smile. 

"You know, sometimes I think you're right." 

And then he kisses me back. 


End file.
